Women, Mood Swing & Stress

Dear Readers

In this contemporary world, there is a lot of pressure on women to be good mothers, possess successful careers, be perfect wives and responsible for household chores. Women struggle to balance their obligations ranging from family, work and personal life. Mood swings are very common in women. A minute ago she could be sweet and happy but the next minute she turns to the extreme of being depressed, frustrated and angry, without any particular reason. Some major causes of mood swings in women are hormonal changes, chemical imbalance, depression and stress.

Hormones are essential responsible for all our emotions and hormone imbalances occur during and after pregnancy, during menstrual cycles, approaching (which can take several years) and at menopause. A woman's sex hormone, named estrogen, is made up of estradiol, estrone and estriol; vary during these times, triggering mood swings. Existence of pain and discomfort make the situation worse and unbearable in many women. Teenage girls first experience mood swings at puberty when their bodies are introduced to various sex hormones, usually affected during the Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS), a week before the period. Anxiety is the most common symptom of PMS and also occurs during post-childbirth and perimenopause. Some other symptoms include panic attacks, nervousness, sweating and intense fear.

The severe drop in hormones after childbirth can be dramatic and cause physical symptoms of depression or anxiety, if not handled properly may lead to postpartum complications. Perimenopause is the period of time when the body is approaching menopause. It may last from two to ten years. During this period of time, the menstrual cycle becomes irregular owing to hormonal fluctuation, causes women to experience symptoms of hot flashes, insomnia, sweating and rapid heartbeat. Under surgical menopause (hysterectomy) condition, women experience perimenopausal symptoms after the surgery due to the sudden decrease of hormones. For non-surgical menopause circumstances, menopause occurs after a woman does not experience period for a consecutive 12-month and that most women feel better due to the fact that the hormone level has stabilised. In a healthy woman, the post-menopause hormone output drops to 30% of the pre-menopause levels which is sufficient to keep the woman happy.

Hormonal changes cause physical and psychological stress and trigger the "fight or flight" response. The "fight or flight" response is the body's inborn, self-protective response against perceived danger. This is due to the release of cortisol, adrenaline and other brain chemicals. These reactions are harmless but as our minds go through unproductive thoughts may convert these responses to anxiety.

Depression also causes mood swings and in particular bipolar depression which is characterised by a sudden extreme mood change from manic depression to severe depression. Some obvious signs are withdrawal, fatigue, loss or gain of appetite.

Stress is one main cause of mood swings. It comes from any directions in the environment and it can affect moods severely leading to crying and depression. Work, family especially marital problems, single parenthood and ageing are major family related stressors in women. Chemical imbalance release of the brain chemicals called neurotransmitters such as norepinephrine, dopamine and serotonin, causes stress in women. These inhibitory or excitatory neurotransmitters released by the brain are responsible for emotions such as happiness, depression, anxiety and fear and they affect your hormone levels as well.

Other reasons of stress in women are unhealthy lifestyle habits including consumption of drugs, alcohol, smoking and lack of exercise. Stress can prematurely age your body, cause health conditions and on top of those symptoms faced during hormonal changes, stress can cause the body to increase in respiration, accumulate toxins like carbon dioxide and lactates and cause gastro intestinal disorders including ulcers, irritable bowel syndrome, gastritis, heartburn and stomach upset.

If you are the person experiencing the mood swings and cannot prevent them, then you can try to be sensitive to keep in a relatively calm facade. It is then important for you to identify and manage the stressors and seek help to rectify them. You can vent to a close friend who you know will understand your situation. Crying is an alternative method to release your grouches. Distract yourself by listening to music, watching movies or sleeping. If others are experiencing mood swings, you can help by lending your helpful listening ears to them. Avoid offering solutions but instead give reassurance and sympathy.

Incorporating a healthy lifestyle will be beneficial in treating mood swings. Our body is not built to take the kind of stress that we put on it physically, mentally or emotionally. Exercise is one of the best prescriptions for stress and physical stress reduction. Exercises such as swimming, brisk walking, meditation, yoga, aerobics, kickboxing, dancing, acupuncture, aromatherapy or laughter therapy help to alleviate our stress level. Diet also plays an important role; by incorporating more vitamins and minerals in our diet reduce stress.

There are long term solutions to mood swings and a doctor may recommend that you use antidepressants or other mood enhancing drugs for depression and other psychological conditions. However, there could be many negative side effects on the use of addictive drug treatments. A safer and more effective solution is to use psychotherapy such as cognitive behavioural therapy, hypnotherapy, stress management therapy, talk therapy, natural hormone supplementation therapy and psycho-nutritional therapy.

Your consultant is able to measure your neurotransmitters prior to recommending the specific psycho nutrients that are specific for your requirements. You will be taught to recognise the negative thoughts in your mind that could be the causes of your mood swings, and replace them with positive affirmations. You will be taught with various anti-stress coping techniques.

We have all done it at one time or another, allocated our time to work, our families, and everything else but ourselves. So women, it is time to make time for you, for yourself! Spend time doing something that is just for you, on a regular basis. When you successfully resolve your internal conflicts and the unhelpful thought patterns that contribute to them, you will be free from stress and mood swings.

Causes of Stress

Dear Readers

Are you facing stress everyday? What could be the causes of your stress?

Stress is defined by the body's reaction to a change that requires a physical, mental or emotional adjustment or response. The bad stress is also known as distress and it is caused by an exciting stress-causing factor or "stressor". Stress happens to everyone in your daily life. There are various sources of stressors and they may include Family, Job, Personal, Social, Environmental and Financial.

Family represents a body and should any parts of the body gets ill, suffers from pain and malfunctions, all other parts of the body coordinate and assist in getting the body back and to function normally. As family goes through hard times, which may range from financial worries to illness to marital difficulties, anger and disagreement and many more, both parents and children are affected. The relationship among the family could be detrimental if the situation is not handled properly. Communication and conflicts are common in family stress.

Job stress is one of the leading causes of stress. The pressure created over interactions among colleagues, job roles, job insecurity, deadlines, burnout and many more affect the job productivity and even safety in the work place. The economic downturn and increase in unemployment rate coupled with uncertainty and doubts in work add to job stress.

Personal stress is caused by various events which happen around you and that affect your relationship with yourself. High self-esteem with success and achievement can reverse itself to become failures and loss in ego. Personal stress could be from worries about attractiveness, weight, ageing and personal doubts. It could be from a demanding job, from the loss of family members or friends, illness, self-depression, financial concerns and relationship issues.

There are many phases of social stress because we are inseparable from the society, the community and the public. It is hard to determine if your social life is a liability to you. You may get overwhelmed by too much social activities and the social demands by the public whereas lack of social involvement may result in you feeling lonely and isolated. Any conflict resulted from a public relationship can be energy drain while trying too hard to gain supportive relationship also brings negative momentum to your social life.

Environmental stress is defined as the minor irritations and frustrations of everyday life that we all experience. They can be the petty obstacles which we struggle through during work or the pain we suffer from sitting on chairs for long hours. Environmental stress can also be from oil spills, air pollution such as smoky indoors, car exhaust, factory emission of gases; noise pollution such as living in the proximity of railroads, airports, city centres; violent crime and burglary in the neighbourhood that threaten your life and so on. Some stress may even be caused by fear of loss of future life on earth as the end of the world has been predicted by scientists and philosophers.

Financial stress is growing in all parts of the world. It is one of the most stressful causes in family issues. Money is important to all households; loss of employment, failure in business, debt, reduction in income, children's education, medical expenses and many other money-related matters cause financial stress to the family. Financial uncertainty can transform one into uncertainties about himself and his value in life.

We need to understand the causes of our stressors before we learn to cope with them.

Conflict Management

Dear Readers

Conflict happens in our every day's lives when two or more people disagree over their values, beliefs, perceptions, ideas or desires. It can cause anger, hostility and even an ending to a relationship. However, if it is handled well, conflict can be productive in building trust and gaining better mutual respect and closeness, thus strengthening the relationship bonds.

Learning how to deal with conflict is crucial. People adopt different approaches in facing conflict. The avoiding or withdrawal conflict style is unassertive and uncooperative. It is only appropriate as a temporary disengagement.

The accommodating conflict style is cooperative but unassertive. Times when it is appropriate is when the issue is of low importance to the people involved. The forcing style is uncooperative but high assertive and it is useful during emergency situations.

The compromising mode is of moderate assertiveness and moderate cooperation. Both parties have to give up part of what they really want to achieve the result. The collaborating conflict style is both high assertive and high cooperative. It is working together to gain an agreed resolution under a win/win situation.

The main factor that affects our decision in a conflict is how importance is the relationship to us. Everyone needs to feel understood, cherished and supported. Conflicts are an opportunity for growth and we can work together in our relationships to survive through challenges and disagreements.

Changing For The Better

Dear Readers

Well, it has been quite a long gap since my last post. Kindly forgive me for my absence.

I have been studying hard and shall be graduating Advanced Diploma Course in Psychology in Counselling very soon. I am moving onto therapy courses in April.

Changes, changes, changes. There is nothing we can do to stop changes. I am looking forward to changes for the better. How about you?

End of 2011, The Beginning of 2012

Dear Readers

Yet another New Year is approaching. Yes, 2012 will be with us in just 3 more days! How time flies and how fast it flies.

Hmm...... expectedly, there will be lots of news about the history of 2011 events, achievements, happenings, highlights, comments, economics, politics, changes!! Are you able to recall them if they are not brought up again by the news? Are they important to you? Do they affect your lives? Have they brought back some memories? Sweet or sad memories? How did those news make a different in your doing?

Or without them, you are still surviving as usual? They don't really concern you or they do? You don't actually need to care or know what had happened? You do not read news as you have been too busy in your own circle?

Life is individual yet life is universal. The individual makes up the universe yet the universe does not entirely influence the individual. Life is dependent yet independent. At times you depend on someone or something, while after which, you are alone and you are yourself again.

Whatever it is, the world will not stop to wait for you, the clock continues to tick, life goes on. I am sure long list of resolutions are waiting to be announced for the better new year.

As usual, let's greet each other "Happy New Year", whether it does mean a thing to everyone.

What is Life?

Dear Readers

What do you wish to achieve in life?

To those who believe in religion, this may be a simple and straight forward question. Answers are at the tips of the thumbs?! But what do you actually want in your current life? Do you know why you are here? Or do you just follow what others teach you and let others guide you?

The world never stops changing. It changes every second and every 100th of a second, nothing remains the same at the next moment you look at it. Isn't this fantastic? How do you hold on to the moment when you wish it to stay perfect for the rest of your life?

When you accomplish your missions, how do you maintain them and how do you prevent them from moving away onto something different? Are you satisfied with what you have? What more can you work on to fulfil what you wish for?

I am in the midst of confusion about life and what else I can do. Guess it is part of life itself.

Bobo Doll Experiment

Dear Readers

If you have not heard of Bobo Doll Experiment, you can click on http://youtu.be/hHHdovKHDNU to view the video.

In psychology of learning, there are many phenomena and theories that explain how we acquire our knowledge. The traditions are nativism and empiricism. Nativism is a perspective that our abilities and behavioral tendencies are mainly inborn. Empiricism believes that our knowledge comes from our experiences. Nature versus nurture has been an arguable topic for ages! Personally I think it is difficult to make concrete conclusion on this issue.

Among all theories of learning, I wish to share with you the social learning theory in which one of the experiments carried out was the Bobo Doll Experiment. It was conducted by Albert Bandura in 1961 to study the patterns of behavior associated with aggression.

From the experiment, Bandura derives three important aspects. Firstly, how aggressive patterns of behavior are achieved; secondly, what provokes people to behave aggressively and thirdly, what determines if they will behave aggressively in the future circumstances.

It is very obvious that children learn by observing adults' behaviors. We call it monkey see, monkey do. Children learn either personally, through media, from families or their living environment. Media has definitely induced violent behavior in children who are also increasingly exposed to violent and aggressive video/internet games that allow much of their interaction and participation.

Isn't it time for us to be more conscious and careful about what our children are exposed to daily? Shouldn't we pay more attention to the usage of computers and televisions that they are engaging? We may not think it is a big issue but as time passes, and when the children are behind bars, the feeling of regret and sorrow will only be surpassed by our remorse.

ABC & short form words

Dear Readers

I find that short form is really fascinating! One short form to you may mean something different to others! Is there a guideline to the universally accepted short forms? Who created them and who approved them?

I am sure many of us are familiar with OMG, LOL, BRB, TBC, FOC, GTG, FYI, ASAP, RSVP, RIP, BTW, hopefully we share the same understanding of their meanings.

Let us take a look at ABC. The original short form of ABC that I know is purely the alphabet ABC when we teach our children the 26 alphabets of English language, usually A for apple, B for bus, C for car.. and so on. In Malaysia restaurants, ABC is best known as ais kacang, air batu campur.

In cognitive behavior psychology, ABC stands for Activating event, Beliefs about activating event and Consequences. It is used to analyze a situation and change our thinking without trying to change the external reality such that we can develop new, rational beliefs, thoughts and feelings.

I am pretty sure ABC will carry different meanings in other studies. Do share your ABC with me if you have.

There are yet many other short forms that are found in this contemporary society, they are used in emails, smses, chats etc. You may have come across MBF, MBA, PHD, WTF, WTH, IDK, ACT, FML, ROFL, LMAO, LMFAO, FTW, STFU, 88, DILLIC, DILLIK, LCLY, BFF MSG, IMO, ABT, WRT, NP, TYVM, MTV, HBU, TTYL........ well, I do not get the meaning of all of them as some of them were obtained during brainstorming session with my children.

And today I received a mail from a friend having this short form ABCDEFG and ABCDEFGHIJK, I am sure with the speed how mails are moving about, you can already guess the meaning of them!

Criteria of a counselor

Dear Readers

It is never easy to be a counselor. Some basic criteria a counselor should possess and upkeep include the following:

A trained, knowledgeable learner: In order to be able to help, a counselor must possess a recognized academic qualification as the first prerequisite to show that her counseling knowledge with regards to the history of counseling, various theories and beliefs, counseling skills and therapeutic methods have been acquired. She has to be a continual learner not only in counseling but also in areas of the current lives, social matters, culture beliefs and so on because any external knowledge gained is an additional niche to being a diversified counselor.

Sincere and honest: This is one of the most important criteria in terms of personal characteristic to become a counselor. A counselor must not pretend to care, she must be genuine, honest and sincere in facing the clients who need her help. By treating the clients as unwise and silly, it will hurt their feelings and create untrustworthy relationships. The counselor must be truly concerned and care from the bottom of her heart in order to help her clients effectively. The client will feel relax and open hence disclose his problems if he finds that the counselor is a trustworthy and secured person to talk to.

Responsible and accountable: It is important to be a responsible and accountable counselor. A counselor must present herself as a responsible entity, not only at home, at work, in society but in every aspect where she may be present and look upon by others. She must be a committed counselor who is aware of the consequences she may face and be accountable if there are wrong doings.

Congruence and empathy: To be able to see and feel how a client suffers is an important criterion in becoming a counselor. The counselor must show empathy and encourage her client to relax and trust her. She must stay congruence at all times and not allowing her personal experiences to interfere with the counseling.

Patience and sensitive: Clients can be depressed, emotional and weak yet destructive. A counselor must understand that she is present to help, to listen, to guide but not to transfer back more anger or negativity to the clients. She must not lose her patience to show temper onto the client or to allow countertransference to happen. She must be sensitive to the client's needs especially when it comes to his culture, social, history, causes of problems and family background.

Fair, non-judgmental and respect: A counselor should not judge the client whether he is a prisoner, juvenile delinquent, divorcee or the like. She must understand that everyone stands an equal chance to lead a healthy and happy life in this world. She should give her client a chance to present himself on his problems and allow him to make decisions on his choice and respect the choices. She must present herself with the right attitude to demonstrate her fair and respect to the client in to order to gain trust and show faith in client that he will be able to go through his problems.

Active listener: A counselor listens actively to her client. She observes his possible movement and gestures during counseling session. She must obtain sufficient rest before each counseling session in order to present herself at her best condition before the client.

Confidentiality: A counselor should maintain confidentiality of her client's story. She must abide to this ethical principle and keep the information strictly private and confidential, not to discuss it with families and friends.

Admit constraint and consult the seniors: When a counselor faces problems, she should call for help. No one counselor can be perfect and fit for all clients; so when she is confused in her cases, she should not continue the counseling sessions because the outcome could be detrimental.  

Adhere to counselor code of conduct: A counselor must not develop private relationship with her clients. She must have the integrity to uphold her professionalism and strictly standby the morals and ethics of the conduct.

Counselors are human beings, there are limitations to her abilities and capabilities. The successful counseling will be a two-way working relationship between the counselor and the client.

Charles Darwin - Evolutionary Theory - The Survival of the Fittest

Dear Readers

Marine Iguana
of Galapagos Islands

During my secondary school, I was very interested in biology and my favourite topic was Evolutionary Theory, The Origin of Species, Survival of the Fittest, and of course, my dream holiday destination was Galapagos Islands, my idol --- Charles Darwin!

I gave up biology while I was in college because I just could not digest all the names of the plants while attending the compulsory botany classes!

Well, back to Charles Darwin, I never know I will go through so many lessons in Psychology Counselling Course with his name appearing over and over, in almost all subjects! Charles Darwin's theory is applicable in both science and art faculties! 

When I was studying biology, all that I have learned about Charles Darwin was the Evolution of Species, how species evolved themselves due to their basic needs of food and shelters. Those species of animals best adapted to the environment survived and prospered, while those poorly adapted, died out. The strongest, the smartest, the fittest survived and continued on.

Yet now when I am studying "counseling", the same theory is interpreted from various perspectives that really fascinated me!

I read it in "Introduction to Learning and Behavior", the authors say that "a lot of people misunderstand evolutionary theory. The real driving force behind evolution is not survival of the fittest, but the reproductive advantage that accrues to those individuals possessing traits that are best suited to the environment".  The successful individuals are more likely to have offspring who inherit the successful traits from their parents, and are also more likely to survive and reproduce. As this process continues, generations after generations, the percentage of individuals possessing the successful traits increases while that with unsuccessful traits decreases. In this manner, the changed population differs so much from the initial population that it becomes a new species.

In Sociology, it is reasoned out as "people who could not successfully compete in modern society were poorly adapted to their environment and therefore inferior". The capitalists view that "those who rule do so because they are the most "fit" to rule, having won the evolutionary struggles that promote the 'survival of the fittest'".  The dominant concern of social change disciplines read "the continuous change from a simpler condition to a more complex state", this is a belief of biological evolutionary process that move populations of organisms toward increasing levels of biological complexity; and "survival of the fittest" means "struggle for existence".

Harriet, Charles Darwin's tortoise
(1830 - 2007)

In Psychology, the functionalists presume that creatures evolve in ways that favour survival. According to Charles Darwin's Natural Selection, physical features that help animals adapt to their environments are retained during evolution. Additionally, psychologists believe that emotional expressions evolved to communicate our feelings to others, which helps in survival.

The story of Charles Darwin's Evolutionary theory never ends here, I do hope that you can share your views on this topic with me.